Saturday, March 23, 2013

A choice I will never have to make.

  Jeremiah and I sponsor a family through an organization called YWAM. We are thrilled to meet this family when we visit our son in Ethiopia. The family we support lives in a trash dump in Ethiopia. I came across YWAM's blog today and I immediately started to think about my life. I started to think about how I am worried about when we are going to bring our son home, worried about who is going to fill my position at school next semester, and worried about many other things related to adoption/next year.

   It hit me that what I am worrying about is silly compared to what the mom in this article (and countless others throughout the world) are worrying about every day. I've never had to worry about getting food for Olivia and I can say that I've never gone for days without food. I've never stopped (and passed out) on the side of the road because I had no energy from lack of food.

  The woman in this article was working and trying to support herself when she was raped. Then she found out she was pregnant and that her sister was dying from HIV. This woman took in her sister's daughter and then had her own daughter. Now this woman can't work because she has no one to care for her children while she works. I've never had this feeling before.

 This woman receives $2.75 a month in assistance from a friend and then receives food from her extremely poor neighbor. I've definitely never had to beg for food from a friend. Every ounce of food this woman receives she gives to her children. Therefore, she is just starving. I've never had this feeling.

  I can not imagine what this woman is going through. I just went to the grocery store yesterday and spent more than I assume this woman will make in a lifetime. How is this fair? I walk into my house and often say to Jeremiah that I can't find anything good to eat. Yet I have so many items in my pantry. How is this fair?

   I am ashamed that there is a mother living in a different part of the world who has nothing to eat and yet I am complaining about not bringing my son home for a few months. I realize that everyone has struggles and that it's okay that I'm upset about Z. However, it's not okay for me to dwell on this and let my feelings impact my life.

   My son was left by someone and I assume it was his mother. One thing that we know is that Z was a healthy baby. He is a chunky monkey and I assume that his mother cared for him the same way that this woman is caring for her children. I assume that his mother had to make the most difficult decision of her life and leave him because she wanted a better life for him. How is this fair?

   I will never be faced with this keep my child and probably see him die at an early age or give him up so that he can live. I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it. I know that life isn't fair, but I also know that no one should have to live in these horrible conditions. The woman in this story is trying her best to keep her family together. It breaks my heart to think that she may not be able to keep her daughter because she doesn't have money. I've never had this feeling.

  I am so thankful that little Z's birth mom thought of him and the life he could have. I'm thankful that she took care of him for the first months of his life (because we know that he is way more chunky than most babies in Ethiopia!). I am thankful that I have a healthy boy in Ethiopia who isn't hungry. I am thankful that my little Z is in a safe environment and that he is loved. But..I am also sad for his birth family. They had to make a choice that I will never have to make.

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