Thursday, December 6, 2012

10:00 on the dot

    Every day my class goes to recess at 10:00a.m. and every day at that time I check my phone just to make sure that my sitter doesn't need me. At this time every single day I think about our little boy because I know it's 8:00a.m. in Washington where our case worker resides. I know she's about to start her day and I think that maybe I will hear something from her about our little boy.
    Ya'll I am tired of waiting. There..I said it. We started this journey 19-20 months ago and I am just ready to see my little boy's face. I was explaining to my friend that I have a knot in my stomach every day. I check my e-mail frequently and every time my phone rings I check to see if it's our agency's number. We are so close to the end and it really could be any day that we receive a referral (or it could be months).
    When you are pregnant you have a due date and I have no idea when I will be able to hold my little boy. I never thought it would be this hard to wait. I know that I'm not even in the extremely hard waiting part yet which occurs after I actually meet my son (and have to leave him in Ethiopia for a few months).
     I was reading Jen Hatmaker's story about how one day she felt that she needed to pray intensely for the children she was adopting from Africa. She remembered that date and then was surprised to see that something amazing happened with her two kids (the children she adopted) on that very date. I had this experience back on September 26, 2012. I was praying in the morning and I had an overwhelming feeling that my son needed my prayers. I'm really interested to see how this date plays into his story or if it means anything at all. All I know is that on that day I was having my morning quiet time and just dropped to my knees in prayer (and many tears).
    I promise you that I realize it will be worth it. I know God has this perfect kid for us. times it just stinks. I feel like every morning I wake up and it's Christmas Eve. You know the feeling that you got when you were a little kid and woke up knowing that Santa was coming that night or that you were going to get surprises that next day? Well..I feel like that every day. I'm not complaining because I picked this route. I have an amazing life and I'm incredibly blessed by my hubs and sweet little Olivia. However, I am a little grumpy sometimes because I just want to hear something positive about our adoption.

 On a higher note, I'm praising God today for the multiple blessings he has blessed me with this week. Here are just a few:
 1. My amazing husband who just makes me happy. I'm so thankful that I get to be married to him.
 2. Olivia-dancing, singing, making goofy voices, asking deep questions about God, and just her overall delightful personality.
3. I'm thankful for our health.
4. Fabulous family members who make our life wonderful.
5. My students are collecting money for a local charity. One parent told her son that she would match however much he wanted to put in to the collection. He got out his wallet and emptied it for our collection. What a sweet boy!
6. Encouraging e-mails from parents.
7. Hearing Olivia pray
8. Kind words from numerous students
9. A lazy evening at home
10. Receiving Christmas cards and thanking God for each family/friend.


1 comment:

  1. You have a right to feel that way! I would feel the same way. Remember that this faith journey makes the end result EVEN sweeter. Anything worth having & loving is worth FIGHTING for. You know that God is in control & His timing is perfect. I know that it gets hard every single day to remind yourself of that. Progress is being made behind the scenes that you don't see. Keep the faith, girly! Love you & praying for you all! HUGS!!